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Home > Money Angel, Money Devil

Money Angel, Money Devil

October 13th, 2009 at 02:31 am

I sometimes feel like I've got a money angel on one shoulder and a money devil on the other shoulder.

Money angel made me stop at the Target on my way to Dad's house to return DS's pants that I bought last week. $14.99 credit on my card. Bought dish detergent at the store with a TMF mail in rebate. Paid $1.79 and will get $2.99 back.

Now for the devil. I had to drop off mail to my brother. Mess doesn't even begin to describe what this man has done with his life. Deadbeat dad, alcoholic, pathological liar, sponger, on and on. He has mail sent to dad's house (because he doesn't have a permanent residence) and he asked me to drop it off to him. I got there, hugged him, gave him his mail, and was about to make a hasty retreat when the request came: "ah, hey, do you have $20 on you?". I should have lied, said no, and hightailed it out of there, but the devil on my shoulder said "no, he's worse off than you are, you can part with it". So I gave him $20. It came out of my personal fun money (because Hubby has a much stronger backbone than I do, so it can't come from house funds). The whole way home I rationalized it by saying that I only see him once or twice a year, it's easier to say yes than no, but I'm still upset with myself for not saying no. Uggggh.

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “Money Angel, Money Devil”

  1. whitestripe Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 03:45 am 1255405525
    1255405525

    why would that be a money devil? it seems more like an angel to me, and i am sure your brother would think that way too.

  2. baselle Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 04:44 am 1255409070
    1255409070

    I'd call it money mensch. It means that the next time he asks, feel free to remember this time and say no.

  3. girltherapy Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 11:22 am 1255432950
    1255432950

    At least $20 isn't enough to get into too much trouble.

  4. Broken Arrow Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 12:32 pm 1255437139
    1255437139

    Ah... family is always the toughest, no matter how flawed they are....

    You're a good person inside, perhaps better than me. In similar situations like that, I usually look at them dead in the eye and say, "I don't have any for you." That's not a lie. I may have some money, but just not for them to continue their path of self-destruction.

    But I never said I was that nice of a person either.

  5. merch Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 01:30 pm 1255440645
    1255440645

    I think the conflict you have is that deep down you really want to help your brother. If you saw him turning around his life, you would be there to support him emotionally and financially. By giving him $20, you feel you are enabling him. Knowing where he is in life, you know that the $20 will probably go to perpetuate his current lifestyle. I think if the next time he asked if you said something like I feel like I am just enabling you but if you were to do x, y, or z, I would be more then happy to help you by doing a, b, or c.

    Good luck and try not to feel guilty. Your heart is in the right place.

  6. Mooshocker Says:
    October 13th, 2009 at 01:37 pm 1255441020
    1255441020

    Giving your brother $20.00 is most certainly "money angel" guidance. We are charged to give to those who are less fortunate. No matter what the reason is, your brother is sick and needs assistance sometimes. The only suggestion I would make is the next time he asks for money, offer lunch and conversation. Be prepared to advise him and present to him people and places whereby he may obtain the real help he needs. Give him your love instead of your money. You both will feel better in the long run. God bless.

  7. homebody Says:
    October 14th, 2009 at 02:04 am 1255485851
    1255485851

    Practice saying no for next time. Don't feel guilty about it now, but your guilt is telling you something. JMHO.

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